What do you do when the one you fell in love with and could not stand being apart from and now you can’t stand being with them?
The Spiritual attack upon the Christian home is real. The natural pressures and the busyness of life is real. The pressures of trying to raise children is real. The pressures, trials, and struggles we face are real. I want to first encourage you by saying you are not alone in your marriage struggle it is common and there is real hope in Jesus Christ and through the power of the Holy Spirit to rekindle, rebuild, and restore your marriage no matter where you are right now. Nothing is impossible for God. He can move any mountain or obstacle that is in the way of you having a healthy and blessed marriage.
Lord I pray for love, peace, strength and anointing to be pour out on every marriage of those reading this right now in the name of Jesus! Lord I speak to the mountains and obstacles that are hindering people from a healthy marriage to be cast into the sea in Jesus name! God let your Kingdom come. Lord pour out Your righteousness, peace and joy through the power of the Holy Spirit, come into homes and marriages right now God. We thank You God, in Jesus name. Amen.
Six keys on how to have a better healthier marriage.
1. Closer walk with Jesus! Personal intimate relationship with Jesus Christ
As a Christian this means in the midst of your marriage crisis the greatest thing you can do for your marriage is draw closer to God. This is done through daily prayer not just an act of prayer but praying until you have made a real connection. Daily reading the Word, devotional, journaling and sharing with others what you are reading this may sound crazy but when we interact with the Word the Author of the Word comes and changes us in unimaginable ways. Some may not be convinced that you should work primarily on your relationship with Jesus but without that solid foundation of knowing and obeying Jesus your marriage cannot stand through the winds, rains, and storms marriages face today. You must be built on the Rock.
Matthew 7:24-27 KJV Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock. And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell: and great was the fall of it.
John 15:5 NLT Jesus says, “Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.
2. Agape love. We must know and experience the love Jesus has for us. We must then begin sharing that love with our spouse and others.
1 John 4:19 KJV We love him, because he first loved us.
First things first we must know and have a revelation of God’s love for us. It is God’s love that empowers us to love our spouse and others.
We must show the same sacrificial love Jesus showed us, to our spouse. Agape love goes beyond our feelings and emotions it is driven by our will and a decision to love no matter our feelings or emotions.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NLT Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
This is agape love and this kind of love will transform your marriage into a healthy and blessed marriage.
Can you replace your name with the word love in verse from 1 Corinthians 13:4-7?
3.Regular prayer and devotional time together.
It is crucial in marriage to pray and read the Word with our spouse. The Word of God and prayer are the weapons we use to defeat every attack and assault of the enemy against our marriage. Not having regular prayer and devotion time together in marriage is about as crazy as me getting in a boxing match with the heavy weight champion and believing I could win the match. I would not stand a chance. Our marriage will not stand a chance if we do not regularly pray and have a devotional time together. Not only does prayer and the Word draw you closer to God but it draws you closer to one another. We draw the wisdom and strength we need to have a healthy marriage from prayer and the Word.
Ephesians 6:17-18 NLT Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.
4. Communicate. One on one face to face talking and sharing with one another.
If our communication stops, every thing stops. In war many times one side will try to break the lines of communication against their enemy. They know if they can isolate and cut them off from there help they can weaken them and ultimately destroy them. The same is true for marriage. We need to continually communicate with our spouse.
Healthy communication involves listening and talking. Be slow to speak and quick to listen. This truth can restore oneness in your marriage like no other. Give your full attention when your spouse is talking to you. When you listen you are saying to your spouse I love and value you. Be willing to make time to really connect with your spouse through face to face conversation. Make it a priority to daily sit down with your spouse and have a real conversation. Communication is essential for a healthy marriage.
5.Continual spirit of forgiveness if you get the love thing this will be a by product. Without having the ability to forgive you can be sure you will not be married very long.
Matthew 6:14-15 NLT “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Colossians 3:13 NLT Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.
The Bible is clear on the necessity of forgiving others. When we choose to not forgive it is like we are willingly putting poison into our bodies. Not forgiving our spouses no matter how wrong they were will bring anger, bitterness and resentment which if not dealt with can and will ultimately bring stress that can bring sickness in our body, mind and spirit. Remember you don’t deserve the love Jesus has shown and yet He continues to show you love and forgiveness. I want to be real clear a unforgiving spirit will destroy your marriage. But having a forgiving spirit will take your marriage to the next level. Forgiveness will change your marriage from a place of anger to a place of intimacy. Choose today to forgive your spouse and watch God do the miraculous in your marriage.
6. Pursue. Even after we are married we must continue to pursue our spouse.
I believe we should continue to go on dates, buy flowers and write notes. Many times we get relaxed in our marriages and the danger of this is we begin to take our spouse for granted and they begin feeling unloved and unvalued. Remember how hard you worked to get them to fall in love with you, work even harder to keep them in love with you. Pursue them not just in words but in action show them that you love them. My goodness go out of your way to let them know they are the most important person in your life. Don’t allow the children, career, hobbies or even ministry to become more important than your spouse. Who or what have you been pursuing? Does your spouse know that you still desire their time and affection?
Get a baby sitter, buy flowers, and make dinner reservations do something this week that says to your spouse you are important. Let your spouse know they are still important to you. Go after them with the same passion you did when you first met and watch what happens. 😉
I wish I could say that I have the best marriage in the world. But to be honest I can’t say that but I can say that we are better and healthier than we have ever been from applying and learning to walk out all six of these marriage principles.
No matter the state of your marriage I believe these six keys will equip you to have a better healthier marriage.
How’s your marriage? What are some things you have done to improve your marriage?